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Hard Summer

by Christa Gniadek

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1.
Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh I can’t believe it’s been a year Since I was sitting on that couch Prying words out of your mouth And moving closer with each breath You were flicking at a cigarette And reading every sparkle in my eye Nothing else mattered at the time I felt you bringing me to life I see it so clearly now It started to clear up then Everything changed And everything was changing Then I said I love you, I love you Then I said I love you, I love you Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh I threw my hands over my lips And didn’t blink my eyes, I just found yours And you weren’t sure, but you were sure Lying isn’t my strong point The rush of being far away Grew smiles across our faces There were no words, just glances We didn’t kiss, we didn’t kiss I see it so clearly now It started to clear up then Everything changed And everything was changing Then I said I love you, I love you Then I said I love you, I love you I didn’t know until then I never knew what right felt like Then I said I love you that night Yeah we’ve given up On everything that was hurting us, oh And everything we gave up Was worth everything we got Yeah this is worth Everything we got Yeah this is worth Everything we got I said I love you, I love you Yeah I said I love you, I love you I didn’t know until then I never knew what right felt like Then I said I love you that night Yeah I said I love you that night I said I love you I said I love you Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh
2.
It’s like you wake up and Everything’s changed I look at you and I don’t see a thing You walk to my driver’s side For one last forced kiss It’s like I wasn’t even there for it And I don’t think anything ever will be the same Your family thinks I’m crazy And I’m just trying to get back to that time that I was me And who knows where you’ll be Now I’m dying to say that I’m gone It’s been a long time and all I know now Is I don’t know you Saying so much And nothing that needs to be said It’s been a long time and all I know now Is I don’t know you So go ahead, read those books Keep it all inside I don’t want to talk if I have to make you try Time just kept passing by And I was just waiting But now I’m out to see the world again And I don’t think anything ever will be the same Your family thinks I’m crazy And I’m just trying to get back to that time that I was me And who knows where you’ll be Now I’m dying to say that I’m gone It’s been a long time and all I know now Is I don’t know you Saying so much And nothing that needs to be said It’s been a long time and all I know now Is I don’t know you I don’t think we’re ever gonna get back I don’t think we’re ever gonna get back I don’t think we’re ever gonna get back, ever gonna get back, ever gonna get back I don’t think we’re ever gonna get back I don’t think we’re ever gonna get back I don’t think we’re ever gonna get back, ever gonna get back, ever gonna get back So get back from me, yeah, from me I don’t think anything ever will be the same Your family thinks I’m crazy And I’m just trying to get back to that time that I was me
3.
Gasoline 03:24
mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm, mmm mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah You can’t hide that side from me You don’t know who you’re dealing with I see right through all your games Everything I’m standing up now It’s in my hands now Bet you thought I’d sit this out But I’m ready to throw down I smell gasoline mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm I’m gonna light this match mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah yeah mm-mm-mm I’m gonna light this match i know where this is going, baby The heat I’m bringing, you can’t take it mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm I’m gonna light this match Do you feel that beat, beat That’s my own drum honey Go ahead and try to burn me Take your best shot I run faster I love harder And I’ve always been stronger One last thing before I leave I smell gasoline mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm I’m gonna light this match mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah yeah mm-mm-mm I’m gonna light this match i know where this is going, baby The heat I’m bringing, you can’t take it mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm I’m gonna light this match Baby I’m on fire Baby I’m on fire Baby I’m on fire You better watch your, you better watch your back Baby I’m on fire Baby I’m on fire Baby I’m on fire You better watch your back mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm, mmm mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm I’m gonna light this match mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah yeah mm-mm-mm I’m gonna light this match i know where this is going, baby The heat I’m bringing, you can’t take it mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm I’m gonna light this match mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm, mmm mm-mm-mm yeah mm-mm-mm-mm I smell gasoline hey ey, yeah hey ey yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
4.
Can’t shake this cold feeling For some reason Where are the lights Where are the lights The lights are warm and all I’m looking for You keep saying that we’re alright On different stages tonight Where are the lights Where are the lights The lights are warm and all I’m looking for Oh oh oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, oh-oh, where are the lights I can’t go with you While I’m finding my truth Where are the lights Where are the lights The lights are warm and all I’m looking for Oh oh oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, oh-oh, where are the lights I shouldn’t complain, it’s colder where you are Where are you again I shouldn’t complain, it’s colder where you are Where are you again Oh oh oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, where are the lights Oh oh oh-oh, oh-oh, where are the lights Where are the lights Where are the lights The lights are warm and all I’m looking for
5.
That night wasn’t my fault You thought I wanted us Yeah I was showing off For once I wasn’t feeling at a loss Now you want someone you can’t have and you hate that And you love someone you can’t have and you hate that Don’t you hate that I’ve been waiting a long time To not think about you To not think about you And I’ve been waiting a long time To not hear from you To not hear from you I can’t get back to you Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh You put up your walls again Like nothing ever happened And I shook my head no twice in a row And for a moment all those years I let go Now you want someone you can’t have and you hate that And you love someone you can’t have and you hate that Don’t you hate that I’ve been waiting a long time To not think about you To not think about you And I’ve been waiting a long time To not hear from you To not hear from you I can’t get back to you Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh I can’t get back, can’t get back to you Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh Remember last winter I only saw you once, I only saw you once Remember last winter I only saw you once, it was enough, it was enough I’ve been waiting a long time To not think about you To not think about you And I’ve been waiting a long time To not hear from you To not hear from you I can’t get back to you Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh I can’t get back, can’t get back to you Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh I can’t get back to you I can’t get back to you I can’t get back to you I can’t get back to you Oh, I can’t get back to you I can’t get back to you
6.
Insane 03:46
This is an uphill battle, my shoulder’s getting tired And I can’t paint by numbers Got too many colors I’m dying to show Move on to another if they’re more on your level Sometimes I don’t know how to make this work It takes more than work Time to tug the hanging thread The things I never said Are unraveling one by one Like a loaded gun I never decided on going back on my word And you never let go of anything before getting even, oh I-I am insane to think that Things could be different, oh I-I am insane to think that Things could be different this time around You’re loving on a shadow A safe little bubble Don’t you know in time the sun is gonna find ya In time is gonna burn ya Running against the wind, trying to catch up from your sins While I’m waving from a high rise And I’m done looking down I swear I’m done looking down Time to tug the hanging thread The things I never said Are unraveling one by one Like a loaded gun I never decided on going back on my word And you never let go of anything before getting even, oh I-I am insane to think that Things could be different, oh I-I am insane to think that Things could be different this time around Oh, things could be different this time around Oh, oh, mmm-mm-mm-mm We’re in pieces Don’t you see it We’re in pieces tonight We’re in pieces Don’t you see it We’re in pieces tonight, tonight I never decided on going back on my word And you never let go of anything before getting even, oh I-I am insane to think that Things could be different, oh I-I am insane to think that Things could be different this time around Oh, things could be different this time around Oh, things could be different
7.
You are someone who is stuck in the dark Every time you saw me shining You would amp up your whining It’s time you take a long look A long listen for once You never saw me for what I was Only for what you’re not Always throwing out negative energy Thinking you can talk to me Like you know better But you don’t know a thing You don’t know a thing About loving yourself About knowing yourself About singing at the top of your lungs, asking everybody, everybody sing along Oh oh oh, oh ooh Oh oh oh, oh ooh Oh oh oh, oh ooh Everybody, everybody sing along Here’s something for ya I made it out of nothing Get it in your brain and let it sink in What I do is really something Your sorry sorries Ain’t gonna cut it, no I’ll burn any and every bridge that Leads me where I don’t wanna go Always throwing out negative energy Thinking you can talk to me Like you know better But you don’t know a thing You don’t know a thing About loving yourself About knowing yourself About singing at the top of your lungs, asking everybody, everybody sing along Oh oh oh, oh ooh Oh oh oh, oh ooh Oh oh oh, oh ooh Everybody, everybody sing along Oh oh oh, oh ooh Oh oh oh, oh ooh Oh oh oh, oh ooh Everybody, everybody sing along You never built me up So you’ll never take me down You never built me up so you’ll Never take me down You never built me up So you’ll never take me down You never built me up so you’ll never take me down Always throwing out negative energy Thinking you can talk to me But you don’t know a thing About loving yourself About knowing yourself About singing at the top of your lungs, asking everybody, everybody sing along Oh oh oh, oh ooh Oh oh oh, oh ooh Oh oh oh, oh ooh Everybody, everybody sing along Oh oh oh, oh ooh Oh oh oh, oh ooh Oh oh oh, oh ooh Everybody, everybody sing along
8.
The morning lights the hallway I can hear you breathing Baby you are the one, you are the one And I’m not dreaming I shed different tears these days Crying out the pain and hate If I loved you like you did me wrong You never did me wrong You can take all you want ‘Cause I’m giving you all of me and I don’t need a thing back Oh, I’m letting go And throwing out my arms to give all the love I have Take all you want Take all you want All my love for you is well spent It’s a fountain never ending Keep on filling up, I’ll be here love You’ll never lose me You can take all you want ‘Cause I’m giving you all of me and I don’t need a thing back Oh, I’m letting go And throwing out my arms to give all the love I have Take all you want Take all you want Oh I, I was lost in some old storms That needed clearing up, and needed clearing out We’ve been through it all, took the heat, took the falls And it’s been long enough Let’s forget the way I was Heart shattered more than once What’s done is done, but we’re not done No we’re not done yet Take all you want ‘Cause I’m giving you all of me and I don’t need a thing back Oh, I’m letting go And throwing out my arms to give all the love I have Take all you want Take all you want Take all you want
9.
Fears 03:55
I’d be wishing on a star tonight I can’t see ‘em with those city lights Looks like I’m settling for the moon as a spotlight Oh and now these words Come whispering out of me I see my reflection And then I see my reflection Now I’m screaming At every breath from my lungs I’m ready now Gonna fearlessly face my fears I’m done running Here I am, I’ve turned around I’m ready now Gonna fearlessly face my fears I’m ready now Gonna fearlessly face my fears Right now is finally here And I’m breathing clear, cool air I’m sensing everything the way everything is Oh, it’s beautiful The truth is beautiful I see my freedom now Yeah I see my freedom now Now I’m screaming At every breath from my lungs I’m ready now Gonna fearlessly face my fears I’m done running Here I am, I’ve turned around I’m ready now Gonna fearlessly face my fears I’m ready now Gonna fearlessly face my fears What have I been so afraid of I’ve been so afraid of myself Oh it’s just been myself What have I been so afraid of I’ve been so afraid of myself Oh it’s just been myself I turned around and I found myself I turned around and I found myself Yeah now I’m screaming At every breath from my lungs I’m ready now Gonna fearlessly face my fears I’m done running Here I am, I’ve turned around I’m ready now Gonna fearlessly face my fears I’m ready now Gonna fearlessly face my fears I’m ready now Gonna fearlessly face my fears Gonna fearlessly face my fears I’m ready now Gonna fearlessly face my fears I’m ready now
10.
I knew it all along But now it’s in a song I guess I thought that you would change I meant it when I said Baby I’m in love I guess I thought that nothing could go wrong Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh It all comes crashing down Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh I see it all now When I wake up I see what you are, and what you’re trying to be I forget for a moment I’ve been driving alone and feeling more mad at me Oh I’ve been in the darkness with my eyes open You don’t need to leave the light on My eyes are open, uh huh My eyes are open, uh huh My guard is down again You might not understand Trying so hard to cover yourself up And I’m crying asking why If you were like this this whole time Why’d it take me so damn long to feel it burn Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh It all comes crashing down Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh I see it all now When I wake up I see what you are, and what you’re trying to be I forget for a moment I’ve been driving alone and feeling more mad at me Oh I’ve been in the darkness with my eyes open You don’t need to leave the light on My eyes are open, uh huh My eyes are open, uh huh Oh I know you I’ve been so close to you But I feel further and further from you Oh I know you I’ve been so close to you But I feel further and further from you, oh Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh It all comes crashing down I see it all now When I wake up I see what you are, and what you’re trying to be I forget for a moment I’ve been driving alone and feeling more mad at me Oh I’ve been in the darkness with my eyes open You don’t need to leave the light on My eyes are open, uh huh My eyes are open, uh huh My eyes are open, uh huh My eyes are open, uh huh
11.
Oh I think that it’s time To move on with my life I know I said it before But now it doesn’t hurt anymore Come play catchup again There’s a lot in my head Been standing at the door for so long Now I’m turning the lock I’m not the only one who sees What I’m doing is doing to me I can’t hold on this long to you I’ll wash you off my skin Set my heart free and running And I’ll find deep in my bones Any trace of you I haven’t let go I’m not the only one who sees What I’m doing is doing to me I can’t hold on this long to you I’m done here, I’m done here There’s nothing keeping me I’m done here, I’m done I’m done changing my own mind I’m not the only one who sees What I’m doing is doing to me I can’t hold on this long to you I can’t hold on this long to you
12.
Darling don’t forget me I’ve come so far from where I was Have you ever caught a mirror and thought Haven’t you had enough Haven’t you had enough I got scars for everything I’ve done And broken glass on every road I’m on I got ghosts in every city, honey Don’t you worry ‘bout me ‘Cause I’ve been there, I’ve done that before And I got holes in all my baggage I think that I might trash it ‘Cause nothing seems to fit me anymore I got ghosts I got ghosts I got ghosts I got ghosts It all looks a little tragic I guess I bit the hand that leads And turned around just to make sure I’m another one that bleeds I’m another one that bleeds I got scars for everything I’ve done And broken glass on every road I’m on I got ghosts in every city, honey Don’t you worry ‘bout me ‘Cause I’ve been there, I’ve done that before And I got holes in all my baggage I think that I might trash it ‘Cause nothing seems to fit me anymore I got ghosts I got ghosts I got ghosts I got ghosts Ooh, everything’s better looking back Ooh, everything’s better looking back Ooh, everything’s better looking back, looking back, looking back I got ghosts in every city, honey Don’t you worry ‘bout me ‘Cause I’ve been there, I’ve done that before And I got holes in all my baggage I think that I might trash it ‘Cause nothing seems to fit me anymore I got ghosts I got ghosts I got ghosts I got ghosts
13.
Hard Summer 04:28
I don’t know why I waste so much time Trying to make everything right And you don’t know why I waste so much time Talking about what isn’t right Oh no, there I go again Oh no, there I go, there I go It’s been a hard summer, my darling And I’m praying you’ll stick around ‘Cause it can always get colder, and it surely will So let’s lay down now together here You can kiss me on the cheek For the first time in weeks I’ll rest my head on your chest So put your hand in mine Now is the time To love the little things again Oh yeah, and love what we have Oh yeah, let’s love what we have It’s been a hard summer my darling And I’m praying you’ll stick around ‘Cause it can always get colder, and it surely will So let’s lay down now together here, oh Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh We can weather through Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh There’s nothing else we can do It’s been a hard summer, my darling And I’m praying you’ll stick around ‘Cause it can always get colder And it surely will So let’s lay down now together here Let’s lay down now together here Let’s lay down now together here
14.
Falling 03:28
We were at the airport Twenty-four years old And knew what we were The sun showed Both of our shadows Weren’t letting go I couldn’t let go So I made a move like I always do You let me, you let me I made you mine and it still feels right It’s feeling right Don’t forget the time we spent Falling, falling Don’t forget the time we spent Falling, falling Kisses Butterfly kisses A summer so heated A winter so cold Everything’s changing Everything’s breathing Things will never be The way we’re used to ‘Cause I’ll make a move like I always do You love me, you love me What’s yours is mine and it still feels right It’s feeling right Don’t forget the time we spent Falling, falling Don’t forget the time we spent Falling, falling Falling Falling Falling Falling Falling

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released November 4, 2017

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Christa Gniadek Los Angeles, California

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